It's Okay to Not Be Okay During the Holidays. Here's Your Yearly Reminder

Art Direction and Photographs by: Catie Menke. Model: Nikki Sandusky.

Copy by: Kelly Shiple
Model: Nikki Sandusky
Creative Direction: Catie Menke

This is your yearly reminder that it is okay to not be okay during the holidays. The holidays can be hard. They can be sad. They can be painful. They can be lonely. And that’s okay.

This is my 3rd holiday season alone since separating from my husband of 7 months and partner of 5 years. I woke up on Thanksgiving this year with the overwhelmingly painful feeling of complete and utter loneliness. It was polarizing. Soul shaking. Debilitating. My first thought was, “This feeling can’t possibly be mine.” But then, I sat with it. I gave myself permission to feel it. I let my mind explore where the hell it even came from. And I realized that it was mine. All mine. And it was a feeling I had been putting off dealing with for years.

Art Direction and Photograph by: Catie Menke. Model: Nikki Sandusky.

Our holidays together were always spent traveling, adventuring, and seeing family and/or friends all over the country. We made sure we were having fun and staying busy constantly. We jam packed our days and made the most of our time off. So, naturally, once I found myself single again I made sure my holidays were as busy as possible. I would travel, visit family and friends, and make sure my holidays were spent full of distraction from any possible surfacing of any kind of feelings about the end of my relationship and the fact that I found myself alone, once again.

This year is very obviously different. No big family gatherings. No travels. No trips. No visiting family or friends. Usually Thanksgiving morning I am struggling to recover from a night out for Thanksgiving Eve while racing to get to whatever state I plan to spend the holiday in. I woke up Thanksgiving morning with nothing to do except anything and everything I wanted. And my higher self took that opportunity as a time to process the loneliness I had yet to address in my healing journey.

My next thought was, “someone needs to hear this story.” So here we are. And here is your official reminder:

It’s okay if the holidays are not your favorite time of year because of all the emotions they bring up. It’s okay to not have the capacity to spend time with loved ones because you’re busy taking care of yourself. It’s okay to sit with the discomfort.